Are you living with a black dog?

Morning gang,

I've been reading a book called Living with a Black Dog lately. I won't bore you with details as to why though it perhaps doesn't take a genius of my calibre to work it out.

Anyway, it talks about symptoms of depression, techniques to deal, support for those with etc. Turns out when you start to learn a bit about it, half the people you work with and socialise with might well be depressed. It's a fine line it seems. Here I was thinking that because I drink a lot, am moody, don't sleep much and don't like my job I was just "arty". Perhaps that's not the case at all.

I'm no expert but apparently it was Churchill who coined the phrase 'black dog' in relation to mood disorder and there are now groups, books, societies all devoted to the study of living with the beast.

I make no bold claim to be suffering from anything other than a mild - severe malcontent with how my life has panned out to date. Some days I see that I've achieved lots, other days no amount of achievement will ever be enough. Most of the time I'm able to reason it away, sulk a bit and move on. A few ales usually helps. Writing books really helps. It's not rocket science. Fiction is just a long winded way to diary my thoughts. I can have the discussion I would not have in real life, win the battle I lost, right the wrong etc. And then I get to sell it to the public as a crime thriller.

I can't imagine, and I do try - hard, what it must be like to not be able to reason it away, to not simply jump on top of the black dog, thrash it with a stick and master it. But I'm going to try and learn. Folk are relying on me to do it. Important folk.

I usually have a plan, I tend to live my life with a series of ideas and plans. I have no plan for this, none that's worked so far anyway. The overall plan remains the same. Earn enough to do anything we want to do but have enough time to actually enjoy it. So far we've got about 50% of that sorted.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Bottom line is this. Some stuff you can't ignore, you can't fix with ale or by trying harder. Some stuff you just have to fix. The brave bit is acknowledging the issue and hoping your team roll into action to help you fix it. Well, issue acknowledged. We're rolling into action armed with good intentions and the kind of grim determination and refusal to roll over that Churchill tapped into when we still gave a damn about defending our shores.