What have you achieved today?

Afternoon gang,

My answer to the above question is not much. But I've only been out of bed for about 90 minutes so time is on my side.

But this post isn't really about that. It's about what any of us hope to achieve, our goals, targets, call it what you will. Some folk are happy enough to get up, or not, and that's enough for them. I fondly imagine these people to be among the happiest since they are not burdened by the frustration of failure and a goal not yet achieved.

My wife, God love her, is consumed by targets, despite my best efforts to expel them from her by various means including drink, trips out to drink, going to the theatre and having a drink or watching films with a drink. She's all about the goals and when she fails to achieve one it's the end of the world.

Her goals are career based which is lovely. It's her salary which initially secured us the large 5 bedroom house with games room, cinema and library from where I currently type these words (It also has fantastic sea views and is handy for the beach, yours for about 300k if you're looking to move). But that's not to say I lack ambition. I have zero career motivation at all which won't shock those who know me but might upset my boss if she ever stumbles across this, especially since I've recently been promoted into a very well paid job. All my motivation is around books, writing, publication. But at the root of this is the need to leave some sort of legacy, some evidence I existed, that there was some point to me being here at all. An office job is never going to achieve that, regardless of the salary.

It's a discussion I've had with friends over the years, some who do very little except get up, mooch and go to bed. Some who have awesome careers and earn vast somes. Some of them are happy, some are not. I'm at my happiest when writing and it's one of the few things I see any point in doing. As such my failure to achieve huge sales and a traditional book deal is the root of my supposed failure to achieve.

That said, I was having this very discussion with colleagues at work last week. We were talking about birthdays as one of them just turned 40. I said I hoped to achieve something by the time I was 40. He said "You earn loads, you're a published author who sells books all over the world and you have three degrees. What more do you want?"

I suppose when you look at it like that I've achieved a lot. And yet it's nowhere near enough. In my mind it's always been about a best seller, top of the New York Times list etc. But what if I achieve that and that's not enough either? Keeps me awake at night, I kid you not. Of course the gin helps with that.

Anyay, to return to the topic. So far today I have achieved a new 5* review of my new book The Trust. As ever I'm thrilled and have pasted the review in below for those too idle to go look for it.

"This is a complex web of a story which centres on a North West of England hospital trust. An old mental hospital site is being redeveloped and corpses are turning up in quantity. One of the police on the case, and a young woman working for the Trust in the equipment store become involved with one another. They both have issues and back stories which make the relationship a rather dynamic one! Her mother was once a patient at this hospital. Young women in the town have been going missing over a period of a year or more. Police suspect a serial killer. As you can see, there’s a huge amount going on in this story and it’s well handled so that you aren’t sinking into a morass of loose ends but their stories weave in and out of one another in a very engaging way.

Jamie Sinclair has a gift for creating characters you feel involved with. Love or detest them, there’s a lot going on in their lives and you want to know more. I very much enjoyed reading this story. It was well paced and full of intrigue. I did actually guess the identity of the serial killer before the end but I admit I’d had several other candidates in mind before that one and I enjoyed seeing how and why he had turned out that way. The ending was great too. A five star read if ever there was one."